Faith, Hope & Love

 

    A year ago today my husband and I went to the courthouse expecting to leave with a date on the calendar for adoption of our sweet, third bonus blessing.  Instead, we left with a finalized adoption and hearts full of joy and weeping.  It was a Valentine's day we will never forget.  

    The journey had been a rough one.  This sweet boy was placed in our home at birth (January 2012), the third baby since July of 2008  and sibling to the other two blessings.  It was indeed love at first sight.  If you have followed our story you know that it has been a series of ups and downs as we have navigated the world of foster care. One of the deepest downs, was in March of 2015, when this sweet boy and his younger brother, who joined our family in May of 2013, were returned to their birth mother.  We spent the next 866 days trying to make sense of our broken world and in daily prayer for their safety and return.

    In July of 2017, God answered our prayers and both boys were returned to our home.  The next three years were filled with court dates, counseling appointments, and healing as we began putting the pieces of these sweet boys, our broken hearts, and our family back together.  So February 14, 2020 was a day of immense celebration as we our faith in God was proven, our hope in restoration was realized, and our love of this sweet baby was secured.  What a day! 

    This past year I was introduced to a song entitled, "Better Together" by Luke Combs.  It was written as a beautiful love song about how this couple is well, better together!  But, after listening to it a few times, it struck me that with a few tweaks (you know how I love to change song lyrics to fit my needs) this song would be a perfect adoption song.  I thought about writing Mr. Combs and asking him if he would rewrite the second verse for all of us adoptive parents and rerecord a version for us, but when I mentioned that to my girls they rolled their eyes at me.  So I guess I will have to settle for posting his lyrics with my revisions below.  Also, I don't usually post about drinking beer, since we don't but the lyrics are about things that go together and "good ole boys and beer" does fit! 

My edits are in red and my favorite line, "But I wouldn't have it any other way and if I'm being honest, your first and our last name" is underlined! So to all you adoptive mamas (and papas) out there, crank up the music (you can click the link above) and sing your heart out.  To everyone else, feel free to join in!

A 40 HP Johnson on a flat bottom metal boat
Coke cans and BB guns, barbed wire and old fence posts
8-point bucks in autumn and freshly cut cornfields
One arm out the window and one hand on the wheel

 

Some things just go better together and probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this ole' guitar if it ain't got no strings?
Or pourin' your heart into a song that you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven, like good ole' boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here

 

Your hand in our hand  when we go out downtown
Your fingerprints on every single thing that we got in this house
The way you say, "I love you, too" is like rain on an old tin roof
And your hand fits right into mine like a needle in a groove

 

Some things just go better together and probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this ole' guitar if it ain't got no strings?
Or pourin' your heart into a song that you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven, like good ole' boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here

 

Sometimes we're oil and water

But I wouldn't have it any other way
And if I'm being honest, your first and our last name

 

Would just sound better together and probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this ole' guitar if it ain't got no strings?
Or pourin' your heart into a song that you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven, like good ole' boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here
And me, as long as you're right here

 

Still singing a year later!  Comments or questions?  You know what to do!

                                                                                                            ~Marla

Orphan Sunday

Today is Orphan Sunday....kind of a weird name if you ask me.  I guess I am just not a fan of labels and it feels like calling someone an "orphan" is insulting.  Despite it's name, I think this day is a great wake up call for all of us to look around and see what we can do to help those around us. Not all of us are called to be foster parents, or to fly off to Africa to build an orphanage, but some of us are!  However, if you can't picture that being a part of what God has in store for you, it doesn't mean you are off the hook. James 1:27 clearly tells us that we are, " to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  

So, how do we do that in our everyday lives?  I have an idea, or two to share with you if you are interested. 

What if...the next time we went to one of our kid's sporting events, we cheered for the kid whose parents are never at the game?  And let's be careful not to point our fingers at that mom or dad either.  Maybe it's a single mom who is working two jobs just to put food on the table, or maybe the parent is caring for younger children or an ailing parent.  But, what if we stood in the gap for them, bought their kid a water, encouraged him or her to do their best, maybe even paid for them to have a team picture, or any of the 20 things that come up as an extra expense during the season?  

What if...we shared a little extra love and kindness to that neighbor kid that is always asking to play with your kid?  Maybe treat him or her to ice cream or a nice popsicle on a hot day.  And what if we sat down and talked with him or her, really talked and connected with them in a way that let them know they mattered and you really cared?  What if we invited the neighbor kid to join in with our family game of baseball, or the next water balloon fight? Would it make a difference in his or her life?

What if we did Christmas a little different this year? Are there any children you can think of that could benefit from a little extra love given anonymously? Could we come alongside a family that is struggling and make sure their son or daughter has a present, or two, or three to open on Christmas morning?


What if we invested in a student at our local school, making sure he or she had the school supplies needed to begin the year off right?  Is there a child in your life that could use some new school clothes?  Extra help with homework? Someone to listen to him or her read?

What if we just showed love to all of those sweet little faces that we came in contact with?  What if we looked past the dirty clothes, the sometimes ornery behavior, or if you are from a small town, it might even mean looking past the last name, and just loved all of the people, big and small, in our lives.  Maybe they don't match up with the Webster's dictionary definition of  orphan (or widow) but sharing a little extra love certainly couldn't hurt, right?

These are just a few ideas that come to mind, but I hope you have found one that fits for you. Maybe you have some other ideas that you could share in the comment section below. 

                                                                               

Adoption Day!

2786 days......almost 9 years ago we stumbled into the world of foster parenting.  We arrived here quite by accident and with the intentions of being a stepping stone to repair a broken path.  However, somewhere along the road, somewhere between day 1 and day 2786, things changed.  I can't pinpoint the exact moment that things shifted from hoping to reunite a family to hoping to enlarge ours, but the shift happened.

Many of you have faithfully followed us on this bumpy path as I have blogged our journey in bits and pieces through the posts here on this page.  So as I sit typing today, it is with the hope of inviting you to join us in celebrating. Celebrating the end of 2786 days.  Celebrating the beginning of a billion new days.  As of 9:20 am, March 11, 2016. Skyler and Anthony have officially become Graham's.

The waiting is over...

Psalm 30:5b, "Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning."

Hissy Fit

If I had my way right now I would throw the biggest hissy fit ever witnessed by mankind.  Oh come on, you know what I am talking about.  A full fledged, throw yourself on the floor, kick, scream, cry and holler kind of tantrum.  The kind that makes the neighbors stare and place their house on the market!

Most of you know that I have had the privilege to be a part of a new radio program entitled, Growing StrongerTogether and just this past week our program on waiting aired.  (No, this is not why I want to throw a hissy fit). On this week's program I shared that we were headed to the long awaited trial for termination on two of the children who have blessed our home through foster care.   I joyfully shared that we would be heading into the courtroom on August 21, after waiting 5 and a half years for this day to come.  I encouraged our listeners to see what God has to teach you while you wait for Him to move in situations while you wait.  It was, and is all sound advice.

However, (and yes this is where the hissy fit comes in) once again, God had a different plan.  Oh, I had clearly explained to God what I felt was best here, and submitted my plan in triplicate to Him for approval. And, I was certain it was the perfect plan...but then ONCE AGAIN, court was postponed.

I am sure you can imagine our disappointment.  We have been waiting so long.  We want, no we NEED closure.  I am so ready to be done with the ins and outs of the foster care system.  I am weary from the ups and downs of the everyday as things constantly shift and change.  And I am just mad!  Termination was initially set for December 2012, yet here we are almost a full year later and we are waiting again.

This time the delay is because the judge is retiring.  So now we wait.  It is a process, first they have to find a new judge.  Next they will swear him/her in.  Then the new judge will have to spend time reading through the case file (literally boxes of pages).  Once all of those things happen we can move forward.  What that means is that there is no end in sight.  As of right now, there is no new date set. Again we wait.

I wanted to throw a big hissy fit, like the one I described earlier, but the truth is that it would be of no benefit, and it would scare the children!  So instead I went to the archive of our radio program and I listened to the program on waiting again.  It is humbling to have to listen to your own advice!  

So instead of whining, I am going to:

1.  Get some rest, often times a stressful situation or waiting period seems worse only because we are tired.

2.  Pray about it!  Life is hard, we get discouraged but we need to remember that nothing is impossible with Christ. (Luke 1:37)

3.  Get some friends to hold my arms up.

Exodus 17:10-13 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

4.  Examine the situation. 
                  Is it really all that bad? Am I where God wants me to be?

5.  Remain hopeful

 

I am reminded of the words from a sermon I heard recently, "Often it is not the battle, but the length of the battle." 

Isaiah 57:10  You were tired out by the length of your road, Yet you did not say, ‘It is hopeless.’ You found renewed strength, Therefore you did not faint.

·         Often we grow tired, waiting for the end but we cannot lose hope! This is where faith comes in, we have to trust that we are where God intends us to be.

I imagine Joseph grew tired as he waited in that cistern, and then in jail, and even as he prepared for Egypts drought…but he was able to say, “What you have meant for evil, the Lord has used for good.”

(Genesis 45)

6.  Don't hurry God

The answer to waiting lies in the following verses: 

Matthew 16: 28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Rather than throwing a hissy fit, I think I am going to go spend some time with my Abba Father. Will you join me? 

My Moses Babies

At different points in my life, I have been able to relate to different people in the Bible.  There are times I can relate to Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, as he mourns over his fellow countrymen turning their backs on God.  Other times when I can relate to David, crying out for protection from his enemies.  And still other times when I can cry out like Paul "What a wretched man I am!" (Romans 7:24).  But never, have I related more to a person from the Bible than I do with Jochebed, Moses' mother.  Jochebed lived during a time when the Israelites were under the rule of a cruel Egyptian pharaoh.  The Pharaoh was concerned about the strength and number of Israelites and so after trying  some other scheme, he orders that every Hebrew baby boy that is born must be thrown into the Nile River, and that is where Jochebed comes in.  Let's peek in at the story from Exodus chapter 2:1-4

"Now a man of the tribe of Levi married a Levite woman,(Jochebed) and she became pregnant and gave birth to a son.  When she saw that he was a fine child, she hid him for three months. But when she could hide him no longer, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with tar and pitch.  Then she placed the child in it and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile.  His sister (Miriam) stood at a distance to see what would happen to him." Italics mine 

This is the first part of the story, and what I see is a woman who loved her baby boy and valued life.  She took great risks to protect him.  She hid a baby for 3 months, not an easy task if you consider all the crying a newborn baby does, and then when she could hide him in her home no longer, she made a basket and placed him in the Nile River, in a sense obeying the decree of the Pharaoh, yet with her own added protection.  The struggle that must have been taking place within her, a mother's heart to protect at all costs and yet knowing the only thing she could do was let go and trust that God had it under control.  Let's look at the rest of the story, picking it up in verses 5-8

"Then Pharaoh’s daughter went down to the Nile to bathe, and her  attendants were walking along the riverbank. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her female slave to get it. ⁶ She opened it and saw the baby. He was crying, and she felt sorry for him. “This is one of the Hebrew babies,” she said. ⁷ Then his sister asked Pharaoh’s daughter, “Shall I go and get one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?” ⁸ “Yes, go,” she answered. So the girl went and got the baby’s mother. ⁹ Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Take this baby and nurse him for me, and I will pay you.”  So the woman took the baby and nursed him. ¹⁰ When the child grew older, she took him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he became her son. She named him Moses, saying, “I drew him out of the water.”

Ultimately, Jochebed's prayers were answered, Moses' life was spared and she even got to love on him, nurse him and just as an added bonus, she got paid to do it!  Now isn't that just like God to see Jochebed's heart and sprinkle in his favor.  Of course, as each day passed, Jochebed knew that their time together was more and more limited.  She knew that eventually she would have to surrender her baby again when it was time for him to go live with Pharaoh's daughter.  What she didn't know at that point, is that God was going to use Moses to deliver the Israelites from bondage.  He was putting the pieces together even as Jochebed rocked her sweet baby boy and with tears streaming down her cheeks, she sang him lullabies.  She just didn't know it.  No one did, except of course, God.

In the last four and a half years, I have come to understand Jochebed's plight at a deep level.  God has delievered 3 Moses babies to our home.  Many of you know that I have the privilege of raising my niece and 2 nephews, and in some ways their journey is much like Moses, and my heart feels much like Jochebed's.  You see, legally, these babies aren't mine, I have been chosen to care for them, to love on them and in every sense, to be their momma.  But...legally, well legally, that is a different story.  In fact, the birth parents still, after almost 5 years, have more rights than I do to these babies.  And each day that goes by, may be a day closer to them being part of our forever family, or may be a day closer to them returning to the birth family.  I want to hold tightly to them, to hide them away in hopes of not being discovered, but the truth is, I cannot.  So, like Jochebed, I am forced to make a basket, to line it with tar, and to place them in it, hoping they will be rescued and returned to me, but unaware of the long term plan.  Only God knows that.

It was only a year ago, when I literally had to release one of these babies.  My, then 11 month old nephew was ordered to "return home."  It was with great weeping and a deep sorrow, sorrow unlike any I had known before, that I packed up his belongings and placed him into that basket in the Nile.  I was terrified, "The crocodiles may consume him," I argued with God.  I begged God to intervene, I believed God was going to step in before I had to let him go, but the day came and I was forced, against everything in me, to put this sweet baby in the care of people I knew would not love or protect him, and walk away.  Actually, more accurately, to be drug away.  I wonder if Jochebed had to be drug away as she turned Moses over?

God provided a Miriam though, for this sweet baby boy.  You see, the court for my niece, had not agreed that she should be returned "home" so instead she began unsupervised visits and then would return here to our care.  While she was on a visit, she could watch out for her brother and report back to us on how he was doing.  Then, one night she returned home with the saddest of all tales, not for her brother but for her.  As I was bathing her and getting her ready for bed, I saw that she had been injured.  I cannot go into detail about the injury except to say that it was significant. The realm of emotions I felt in that moment are indescribable.  As I tenderly washed her and questioned her, I could see that this wound went straight to her sweet, little heart.  She was frightened at what she had experienced, and afraid for her brother who had remained in the Nile, while she had gotten to come home.  Even now as I write this, fresh tears spring to my eyes, and fresh questions.  I do not understand why she had to go through this, and why God didn't work this out in a different way.  I wonder if Miriam was afraid as she sat and watched over Moses?  Was she full of fear as she approached the Pharaoh's daughter?

44 days after placing our baby boy in the Nile, he came home.  He was removed from the birth home and welcomed back into our house.  It was with great celebration, as you can imagine, but also with heartache at knowing what his sister had had to endure, and not knowing what all he had endured.  And now, a year later, and a new baby added to the mix, we are still uncertain of if or when someone will tell us we have to send any of these three babies home.  It is still very much a reality, one that often robs me of sleep.  Oh I understand the heart of Jochebed!  How many nights did she walk the floor, checking and double checking on her baby, uncertain of their future together.  How many tears did she shed at the uncertainty of all that lie ahead of them.  And I wonder if she again had tears streaming down her cheeks as she sang him lullabies?

This side of heaven, we will not know exactly what Jochebed was feeling, but we do know that she must have spent her days filling Moses' head with the knowledge of God, of who He was and what He could do.  We know this because as Moses  grew, He walked with God.  When God appeared to him in the burning bush, he knew it was the great "I AM."    So I am taking notes from Jochebed, really none of us know what tomorrow holds, we only have the promise of this moment right now.  Let's use the time we have wisely, let's train up our babies to know and love the Lord.  Let's hold each moment precious, and try not to waste this moment being anxious about what the next moment may bring.  Oh trust me, I know that is easier said than done, but really it is all we can do because though we don't know the long term plan, God does. And I trust that He loves me, that He loves these babies even more than I do, and that He's "got this." So sing those lullabies, even if tears are streaming down your face as you do! 

Would love to hear your thoughts!