Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Legalized Kidnapping

Maybe this is a bit extreme but I feel like I have ring side seats for a horror film entitled, Legal Kidnapping.   As I sit here watching the plot unfold in this latest chapter of our lives I can only watch feeling incredibly helpless.  The film is rolling and no matter how loud I scream, it just keeps moving forward. 

I do agree that at first glance it may seem that I am overstating things.  When we think of someone being kidnapped, there is usually the idea of a ransom of sorts, masks, and snatch and grabs.  Just to make sure I wasn't crazy, I looked up the definition of the word and according to the legal definition, "Under federal and state law, kidnapping is commonly defined as the taking of a person from one place to another against his or her will...."

Well, I assure you that if that is the definition then this situation applies. Week after week, I have to prepare two sweet babies to go on an extended visit.  They both scream and my heart shatters again.  The 3 year old, begs...BEGS me not to make him go.  There is weeping and more heart breaking.  It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

My husband and I fight them to get their coats and shoes on, all the while they continue to ask not to go.  "Why can't I stay here with you Mommy?"  I have no answers.  For 3 years this has been his home, we have been his parents.  Our 20 month old expresses the same one understands.

Week after week this continues.  We share the struggle with our caseworker, with our CASA, with any one who will listen.

"This is hard for everyone."

"Transitions are hard."

"No one is interested in _(insert child's name here)_ opinion, Mrs. Graham."

These are the answers we are given.

It is mind boggling.  It is gut wrenching. It is not fair.  But, there is NOTHING we can do except watch the same film play out week after week after week.

And that is just when we are dealing with the two transitioning.  We drop them off and come home to a house turned upside down.  The other two siblings are frightened, they remember what this place, these people did to them.  They worry and fret.  Nightmares govern the sleeping hours at our home.

The older kids each wrestle with this news in various ways.  Sadness, anger, fear...these are what replay on their movie screens.

All of us question.  We question a system that is suppose to help kids but is inflicting this much pain.  We question caseworkers, judges, lawyers... all of humanity.  And hardest of all, we question God.

Where are You in all of this?  Do you see this down here?  I know You could stop this so WHY WHY WHY aren't You?

As with most of life, there are more questions than answers.  We try to focus on God's promises:

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"For I know the plans I have for you (all of you), plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future." 
 Jeremiah 29:11

"Those who hope (or wait)in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Oh but we are weary...very, very weary.  We continue to seek God's face and we remind ourselves in this darkness that God is still on the throne.  We remember that Hebrews 11 says FAITH is the evidence of things unseen, and we continue on through this role we have been cast in.

I know that we are not the only ones walking a hard road, and that is why I share this post.  I think there is strength in numbers, in knowing that we are not alone.  Maybe your horror movie is different than ours.  Maybe you are going through an unwanted divorce.  Maybe someone that means everything to you is fighting a terminal illness.  Maybe you are losing your job, your way of life.  The heartaches are all different, but the questions are the same:

Where are You in all of this?  Do you see this down here?  I know You could stop this so WHY WHY WHY aren't You?

The answers are the same also.  God is still on the throne and He does have a plan, He is fighting for us, and He will renew our strength!  I am here waiting too, and if you need, I will sit next to you.  We can put our movies on one of those fancy double screens and pray for each other as the events roll out before us.

Email me, call me, message me...I will pray!

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:12

If you are interested in helping us pay for legal counsel, please check out our story at Go Fund MeWe appreciate your prayers!

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