Déjà vu- that is what I am experiencing this weekend, that feeling that I have already been here, seen this and done this. Sometimes that feeling can be a good one, like bringing home a newborn child, or a worship time where you really connected with God. And other times, that feeling of deja vu can be less pleasant, like the actual birth of that newborn child, or a trip to the dentist.
The deja vu I am having is so deja vu(ey) I have even blogged about it before. The trouble is, I must be a slow learner and so the Lord is allowing me to walk this road again and (re)learn the lesson. What lesson is that? Well, I'm glad you asked.
Just this past Friday I received a phone call from the social service agency who we work with. It was to inform me that two of the four of these precious babies were suddenly going to start overnight visits, beginning this Sunday and running through Tuesday. There was no warning, and to say the least it sent our world spinning. My momma tiger heart was racing and there was really nothing I could do about it. Well, except pray and...
And what Marla? Why is it that we feel like we have to do more than pray? Maybe it is my Type A personality, or a lack of faith, or just a restless momma heart, but to simply just pray about it seems just that, too simple.
But is it? I think back to the first Easter season, the night before Jesus was to be beaten and killed. What did he do? I bet you already know what I am going to say, but let's take a peek at the Matthew 26:36-39:
"Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
He prayed. He sat in the garden surrounded by his closest, albeit sleepy, friends and cried out to the Lord.
Of course I still feel the need to argue my case, remember I said I was a slow learner. So here is a glimpse at my conversation with God...
Me-"But Jesus knew what tomorrow was going to look like, I don't"
God-Knowing what tomorrow holds sometimes is harder than just trusting that I will be there, no matter what happens. Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Me-"But I've worked so hard to keep these kids safe, how can I just let go? Do you know how hard that is?"
God- Marla, you silly girl, I've got this. Psalm 37:7 "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes."
Me-"But I am so afraid, how can you say to rest? All I can think about are the what if's."
God-If I am for you then who can be against you? Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?"
Me-"Do you know how hard this is?"
God-Did you forget that I sent my son, my one and only son, to a cruel and hateful world? A world that would despise and reject him? A world that would mistreat and kill him? I've been in your shoes. I sat back and watched my son suffer agony and chose to allow it. (Matthew 27)
Me- "How could you do that? I can't, there is no way I can walk this road you are asking me to travel."
God- I did it because I loved you, enough to make a sacrifice, it was the only way. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will have everlasting life."
God- and one more thing, you CAN do this. Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
As you can see, God is pretty wise. I have spent my weekend fretting about things that I truly have no control over. I know you won't be surprised to hear that the overnight visit....well, it got cancelled (oh ye of little faith!) and we have court in the morning to determine what direction the next few days and months will take. I would be lying to say that I am resting easy and not fretting a bit about tomorrow. However, I am trying...and isn't that all any of us can do?
I will leave you with two verses,
Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you."
Psalm 37: 5-6 "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun."
Trying to SHINE,