Back in October we were sitting in the courtroom awaiting a major decision in regards to my niece and nephew and their future with us. As we were waiting I began to pray for the judge to have the mind of Christ and to be willing to listen to His voice. In the midst of my prayer I felt the Lord say to me, "Are you praying for yourself to have my eyes? Are you praying that you be willing to listen to My voice?" Then the lyrics of the old hymn came to my mind:
1. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Thou art the potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after thy will,
while I am waiting, yielded and still.
2. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Search me and try me, Savior today!
Wash me just now, Lord, wash me just now,
as in thy presence humbly I bow.
3. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me I pray!
Power, all power, surely is thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!
4. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Hold o'er my being absolute sway.
Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me!
So I began to pray that this would be my attitude, that I would be willing to do whatever the Lord had planned for me. The judge came back into the courtroom and his decision was not what I thought God's plan was going to be.
In the months since that day in court we have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Most recently we are hanging upside down on the giant loop part of that roller coaster. I do not like where we are. Many of my nights have been spent in anxious prayer for the roller coaster ride to come to a stop, I am ready to get off! Never liked roller coasters that much anyway!
Then this past week, I had the opportunity to help a friend plant some flowers. While I was planting, I couldn't help notice how different her soil was from the soil at my house. Her soil was very clayish...and then God gently reminded me of my prayer back in October..."Have thine own way Lord, have thine own way, YOU are the potter and I am the clay, mold me and make me, after THY will...."
Life is a struggle, and some days I am dealing better with the roller coaster than others, but I am always thankful that when I lose sight of the bigger plan, that God gently reminds me. Someday this ride will come to a complete stop and I will be able to exit this ride in perfect peace for eternity. But, in the mean time I am just going to have to stick it out, deal with the motion sickness, and remember that God is the safety belt holding me fast.
How about you? Any roller coaster rides you would like to share with me? I would love to hear your story!
Hosea 2:15 "I will...transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope."