This house is one I pass from time to time. The main part of the house is a sturdy brick and this part you see here must have been added on sometime after the main home was built. At first glance everything seems to be in order, but if you take the time to look a little closer you can see that the back corner (left side in t
he photo) is actually being held up by a 55 gallon barrel. Do you see it? And this isn't something new. I have been driving past that house for two years now, and the barrel has remained a faithful, albeit shaky, support.
How incredibly crazy is that? How on earth can that barrel provide enough support to this back addition? I should mention that the house appears to be empty at this time, but I can't help but wonder what went through the homeowner's mind the day this barrel became the best solution for this very serious problem.
Honestly, every time I drive by this house I can't help but think that it is a perfect representation of the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) and the agency they hire out to help them manage the large case loads. These are temporary solutions for a very serious situation.
When my husband and I were taking foster parenting classes, we had a course on the history of DCFS. Did you know that the first child endangerment cases in the United States were actually tried under the animal cruelty act? We had an organization for the protection of animals BEFORE we had any safeguards for protecting children. Anyone besides me think this is absolutely crazy?
I have blogged many times here about our foster parenting journey and have shared the joys and frustrations of that adventure. Over the past few years there have been several headlines about children who have been involved with DCFS who have died. Initially the public outcry is great,
"How could this happen?"
Why isn't DCFS protecting kids?"
"The system is broken!"
"How can those caseworkers live with themselves?"
There is truth in all of these statements, but it is not an easy fix. For far too long the system has operated like the house in the picture above, as a temporary support for an often long term, on going problem. There is a push in the legal system to get these children back to their birth parents because that is viewed as what is best, keeping families in tact. And although there are laws in place to ensure that children moved toward permanency within 9 months of being in the system, those laws are often stretched or even outright ignored for all too often, faint hope that the birth parents are making progress.
I have sat in many a court room. I have heard the Guardian ad Litem (state appointed lawyer for the children) argue that the parents are not making enough progress toward the goals set for them by DCFS. We have watched the parent's attorneys argue back that the goals are too hard (random drug drops, mandatory counseling, parenting classes...) We have hired our own attorney so that we could have a voice. I have spent hours writing letters and making phone calls to advocate for the children in our care. We have been threatened by birth parents and even by caseworkers. We have had to send children on visits with people the courts have deemed "unsafe" because it has been viewed as important to work towards the birth parent/child bonding. We have had to send one of our little guys on weekly prison visits, where he was strip searched, because the mom had a right to visits. We have had to take a child to the emergency room for treatment after one of those visits. I have had to come get children early from those visits because the parent(s) have physically harmed them, or have put them in danger in some way. And yet, the visits continued as scheduled the next week.
Please understand that I am not saying that children should never be reunited with their parents and that we shouldn't work to restore those relationships. I am not saying that at all. Sometimes people make mistakes and need support, training and guidance in order to correct those mistakes and move forward.
I remember a conversation I had with an agency manager one time. I had called expressing concern for one of our little guys. I was told that the decision being made was what the mom wanted and she had rights. I expressed that I was not trying to step on the mom's rights and was only advocating for this particular child. I can still feel the shock and frustration I felt that day as I type this. He replied to me, "Mrs. Graham, the child does not have ANY rights. This is about the parent's rights" Excuse me? How can a child in protective custody not have any rights? How can parents who have had multiple children removed from their care, who have been involved with DCFS for years, have more rights than the children we are suppose to be serving?
I have asked this question repeatedly throughout our involvement with DCFS and always I get the same answer. "Each child is a new chance." Did you know that when a child comes into care (DCFS custody) that information regarding other children in DCFS care from these parents cannot be brought into court? For example, this is the family history in our case:
13 children between the biological parents
2 deceased (1 killed, 1 died shortly after being born)
All removed by DCFS at one time or another
And yet, this information is not shared with the judge. If there has been a period of time between incidences, the caseworkers may not even know. I remember one time I received a call inquiring whether or nor we would accept placement of a child who had just been born. I expressed relief because I had been worrying about this young boy and the caseworker asked me why I had concerns. I told her that another child had died in the home and that I was afraid for this new babies safety. Her response? I can't quote it exactly but it was along the lines of. "Really? I didn't realize that. I see here that there is a red flag on the case but didn't look back to see why?"
Each attempt to do what is best for the child in question ends up being no more than the 55 gallon barrel solution. The system is broken, and this is not just the fault of DCFS, or the fault of the legal system. It is a complex problem and will require great effort and likely some "out of the box" thinking to repair.
Back to the photo, I have been working on this particular blog for a few months. I have struggled to get my thoughts out of my head and onto the screen and in the time it has taken me to finish this there has been a change. Last weekend when I drove past this house, I was surprised to find that there was a fire and the house is nothing but a pile of rubble. It is what motivated me to finish this blog. The more I think about it, the more I realize that we are all guilty in some way or another, we find ourselves in a situation and we have to scramble around and come up with a quick solution. At best these are the stories we share and worst they result in a total loss. Nothing more than a pile of rubble on the ground.
Children are our most precious resource. They are our future, and they deserve the energy and effort it takes to have a permanent solution in a timely manner. We've all seen those Facebook posts with the adorable pictures of kids on adoption day holding signs that say, "After _____ days in foster care, today I was adopted." I just did a Google search for images and these are just some of the number of days that came up"
389
682
739
777
850
907
1359
1426
2456
2555
And then there was this one which says a lot:
To date we have only adopted two of our four and their numbers were 2786 days and 2040 days. Each
of those numbers represent days that children have been held in limbo,
in between two homes, two lives, their status yet undecided. Those numbers represent a life put on hold while we prop a barrel up under them and hope it holds up long enough to fix the underlying problem(s). Our kids deserve more than this!
In the words of the Psalmists, "Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90"12)
As always, let me know if you have comments or questions!
Marla
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