Faith, Hope & Love

 

    A year ago today my husband and I went to the courthouse expecting to leave with a date on the calendar for adoption of our sweet, third bonus blessing.  Instead, we left with a finalized adoption and hearts full of joy and weeping.  It was a Valentine's day we will never forget.  

    The journey had been a rough one.  This sweet boy was placed in our home at birth (January 2012), the third baby since July of 2008  and sibling to the other two blessings.  It was indeed love at first sight.  If you have followed our story you know that it has been a series of ups and downs as we have navigated the world of foster care. One of the deepest downs, was in March of 2015, when this sweet boy and his younger brother, who joined our family in May of 2013, were returned to their birth mother.  We spent the next 866 days trying to make sense of our broken world and in daily prayer for their safety and return.

    In July of 2017, God answered our prayers and both boys were returned to our home.  The next three years were filled with court dates, counseling appointments, and healing as we began putting the pieces of these sweet boys, our broken hearts, and our family back together.  So February 14, 2020 was a day of immense celebration as we our faith in God was proven, our hope in restoration was realized, and our love of this sweet baby was secured.  What a day! 

    This past year I was introduced to a song entitled, "Better Together" by Luke Combs.  It was written as a beautiful love song about how this couple is well, better together!  But, after listening to it a few times, it struck me that with a few tweaks (you know how I love to change song lyrics to fit my needs) this song would be a perfect adoption song.  I thought about writing Mr. Combs and asking him if he would rewrite the second verse for all of us adoptive parents and rerecord a version for us, but when I mentioned that to my girls they rolled their eyes at me.  So I guess I will have to settle for posting his lyrics with my revisions below.  Also, I don't usually post about drinking beer, since we don't but the lyrics are about things that go together and "good ole boys and beer" does fit! 

My edits are in red and my favorite line, "But I wouldn't have it any other way and if I'm being honest, your first and our last name" is underlined! So to all you adoptive mamas (and papas) out there, crank up the music (you can click the link above) and sing your heart out.  To everyone else, feel free to join in!

A 40 HP Johnson on a flat bottom metal boat
Coke cans and BB guns, barbed wire and old fence posts
8-point bucks in autumn and freshly cut cornfields
One arm out the window and one hand on the wheel

 

Some things just go better together and probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this ole' guitar if it ain't got no strings?
Or pourin' your heart into a song that you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven, like good ole' boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here

 

Your hand in our hand  when we go out downtown
Your fingerprints on every single thing that we got in this house
The way you say, "I love you, too" is like rain on an old tin roof
And your hand fits right into mine like a needle in a groove

 

Some things just go better together and probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this ole' guitar if it ain't got no strings?
Or pourin' your heart into a song that you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven, like good ole' boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here

 

Sometimes we're oil and water

But I wouldn't have it any other way
And if I'm being honest, your first and our last name

 

Would just sound better together and probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise, Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this ole' guitar if it ain't got no strings?
Or pourin' your heart into a song that you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven, like good ole' boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here
And me, as long as you're right here

 

Still singing a year later!  Comments or questions?  You know what to do!

                                                                                                            ~Marla

Knock It Off!...Oh Wait, You're talking to Me?

It happened again, it always happens.  I guess I can't blame people.  I guess I should be use to it.  But, I'm not.  Sometimes I can laugh about it, actually most of the time.  I can handle the stares, and smile back in response.  But, the comments...well I am not as graceful about those.

I have a big family, (8 children, 2 parents, sum total=10).  When we all go out in public together it is quite a sight.  It is no wonder people stare. Some of the bolder population will even ask me, "Are they all yours?" 

I can handle those questions with grace, because I realize we are a bit of a spectacle and that big families are not that common these days.  Recently, however, I was at a restaurant with 5 of my children, 1 teen and my 4 little ones.  Immediately upon being seated, I felt the stares and saw the pointing finger whispering.  I smiled, passed out sippie cups and french fries and went about my own business.  My precious, "I don't like restaurants, high chairs, or sitting" 20 month old began to tap the table with his cup.  It truly wasn't loud and I decided that it wasn't worth the battle and continued eating.  Unfortunately the whispering diner just down from our table, the one who needed to work on her whispering skills, yeah, well she thought it was a big deal.  She smiled at her family, nodded at her sleeping infant in the carseat next to her and stated in a fake whisper, "I'm glad my kids aren't like that."

The hair stood up on the back of my neck and my eye began to twitch.  I thought to myself two things. 1- I'm glad your kid isn't like this because clearly you wouldn't have the patience to deal with it and 2- Your kid isn't like this YET....but just you wait.

Now neither of those responses are very Godly.  Neither would display the command of Jesus from Matthew 5:43, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." But I justified my thoughts by saying to myself, "Well I am not as bad as her.  At least I didn't say out loud what I was thinking."  I was still steaming about this lady's comments as I drove home from our outing.  I was discussing it with my teen, when I realized that my thoughts and attitudes toward this woman who had "judged" me, were every bit as mean and ugly as her words.  I began to think about all the Scriptures in the New Testament where it was recorded that, "Jesus knew their thoughts."

Geesh!  Next thing you know, I was convicted.  I realized that I am responsible for my attitudes and actions, not the whispering diner's.  I realized that it has to start somewhere...the no more judging, no more comparing, no more criticizing.  It has to stop!

Well God has a funny way of working and the next thing you know I get an email in my inbox from Hearts at Home's founder, Jill Savage.  Want to guess what it was about?  Well, it was all about this very thing.  It was an invitation to take the Knock It Off Commitment.  This commitment included the following pledges:

• Giving myself grace when I make mistakes.
• Extending grace to other moms when they make mistakes.
• Offering other moms the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to judgmental conclusions.
• Recognizing that I cannot be and will never be a perfect mom.
• Refusing the temptation to judge when other moms make different choices than I make.
• Embracing differences instead of criticizing them.
• Resisting the urge to compare my insides to other women’s outsides.
• Making strides in honesty with other moms and living an authentic life.
• Doing my part to stop the mommy wars, one “Knock It Off” decision at a time.

So how about it?  Is this an area you struggle with also?  If so, are you willing to take the pledge with me?  Maybe we could start a whole new revolution.  I wonder what the world would be like if we all stopped criticizing and comparing and started helping each other out instead?  What if we truly loved our neighbor as our self?   What if we saw ourselves and others through the eyes of our gracious and loving Savior?  Will you join me?  Just head on over to the page Hearts at Home and sign up! 

Questions or thoughts?  You know I love to hear them!