Have Thine Own Way, Lord

Back in October we were sitting in the courtroom awaiting a major decision in regards to my niece and nephew and their future with us. As we were waiting I began to pray for the judge to have the mind of Christ and to be willing to listen to His voice. In the midst of my prayer I felt the Lord say to me, "Are you praying for yourself to have my eyes? Are you praying that you be willing to listen to My voice?" Then the lyrics of the old hymn came to my mind:

1. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Thou art the potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after thy will,
while I am waiting, yielded and still.

2. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Search me and try me, Savior today!
Wash me just now, Lord, wash me just now,
as in thy presence humbly I bow.

3. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me I pray!
Power, all power, surely is thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!

4. Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Hold o'er my being absolute sway.
Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me!

So I began to pray that this would be my attitude, that I would be willing to do whatever the Lord had planned for me. The judge came back into the courtroom and his decision was not what I thought God's plan was going to be.

In the months since that day in court we have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Most recently we are hanging upside down on the giant loop part of that roller coaster. I do not like where we are. Many of my nights have been spent in anxious prayer for the roller coaster ride to come to a stop, I am ready to get off! Never liked roller coasters that much anyway!

Then this past week, I had the opportunity to help a friend plant some flowers. While I was planting, I couldn't help notice how different her soil was from the soil at my house. Her soil was very clayish...and then God gently reminded me of my prayer back in October..."Have thine own way Lord, have thine own way, YOU are the potter and I am the clay, mold me and make me, after THY will...."

Life is a struggle, and some days I am dealing better with the roller coaster than others, but I am always thankful that when I lose sight of the bigger plan, that God gently reminds me. Someday this ride will come to a complete stop and I will be able to exit this ride in perfect peace for eternity. But, in the mean time I am just going to have to stick it out, deal with the motion sickness, and remember that God is the safety belt holding me fast.

How about you? Any roller coaster rides you would like to share with me? I would love to hear your story!

Hosea 2:15 "I will...transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope."

Plans

Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart,but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails." and boy are we learning that here in the Graham house this week.

My husband, Jerry, and oldest son, Jeremiah, have been diligently planning and working on a their plans for a mission trip to Africa. They mailed out support letters, did fund raisers, got all the necessary immunizations, made arrangements at their jobs, packed their bags and were all ready to go. The schedule was set, they would leave Sunday afternoon with a team of fellow missionaries. This was Jerry's 6th trip and Jeremiah's first.

And then God did something crazy. Saturday morning, Jeremiah, woke up feeling sick to his stomach. He went about his day, trying to convince himself that it was nothing but nerves, but by 5 pm his dad and I were not convinced. He and his dad headed off to the Emergency room, just to be sure all was well before he left the country. After a few hours of test, we began to understand that God had a different plan for Jeremiah. He was diagnosed with acute appendicitis and by 10 pm that night he headed into surgery, all hope of his trip with Jerry, gone.

Truly, I do not know who was more disappointed, Jerry or Jeremiah. It was such a mix of emotions, concern over needed surgery, a demand to make all the necessary changes in the travel plans and repack the bags of medical supplies Jeremiah was suppose to take in his luggage, disappointment over a change in plans, the list goes on and on. But as the hours past we began to realize just how blessed we really were and what a difference 24 hours would have made. Had Jeremiah already boarded the plane to Africa before his appendix decided to flare up, the results might not have been all that great. Or, if he had already been in Africa....wow, I can hardly think about what may have happened. And then I am rendered speechless and think again of the verse in Proverbs, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart,but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

Thank goodness, that God does know, that His purpose prevails. He has a plan for Jeremiah, and He holds him in the palm of His hand, and this is one momma that is thankful for that!

Where have you seen God working in your life? I would love to hear about it!